So, i’m trying to get over these issues with Stacey. It’s tough, but i feel like i can do it… I have to… i have to make my feelings for her go away. If i start saying i’m over her, maybe it’ll be truth soon. I feel like i messed things up, but i KNOW she does things that are just wrong. But, all i can do is try and make myself do right… even if i will love her forever. All i want is to be happy… to find someone that i can make happy and who can make me happy. I just have to keep breathing…. that’s really all i can do is keep breathing. ugh.
.Vellum:Bristol.
Posted in My Life with tags Love, Relationships on December 16, 2009 by shizumatakaCold Can Suck It
Posted in Design, My Life, film with tags Business Cards, Cold, Documentary, graphic design, Portfolio, Sick on December 7, 2009 by shizumatakaOkay, so a few recent things going on.
I have finished my Portfolio Book [just needs to be printed now] and I have coded most of my website [just have to add the contact form in the contact page]. I have also sent off my business cards off to OverNight Prints.
Also, i have somehow caught the Cold. Ugh, it makes working tiring. lol. I have to go to work today too while being sick. Anyway, I’m watching The Union: The Business Behind Getting High. It’s a must see if you are a Documentary lover. Well I’m off for now.
Two Fingers.
Strawberry Avalanche
Posted in Music, My Life on November 30, 2009 by shizumatakaLast night was awakening for me… I saw and acheived a new level of knowledge and motivation to my life in general. Before last night, I was starting to feel like things were never going to end; i would be in college forever or flunk out, but last night gave me the motivation to carry on and push forward. I’m currently doing homework for a class i hate and can not focus in, I’m sitting here reading all the chapters and writing the answers to all the questions. Something last night motivated me to just do it. Maybe it was the music i was hearing, or maybe it was my friend Graham talk about his passion for music. All i know is that something last night changed me and made me look at things in a different way. I’m trying to keep that thought process but i know times will get hard and I may go back on my goals, but no matter what i will reach my “Secret Sun” and find that everlasting happiness i have been searching so hard for.
.:Run This Town Tonight:.
Posted in Uncategorized on November 14, 2009 by shizumatakaOkay, so things have been looking up. I am currently working at Aeropostale [I really needed a job]. Still single, but life goes on right? At least that’s what they say. I’ve been trying to find some new music lately.
well this was more like a filler post. I’m gonna try updating more soon. I promise.
haha.
Posted in Uncategorized on November 9, 2009 by shizumataka #include<stdio.h>
#define M(x)!memcmp(e+d,k[x],3)
#define V(x)} void x(int s){
#define W( x)putchar(x);
#include <string.h>
#include <math.h>
#define R return
#define C(x, X/**/\
)case x:R (X);;
char* k[19 ]= {"-"
,"+", "%", "/" ,"*"
,"-" ,/* */ "e" "xp"
,"ln" ,"" "l" "o" "g",
"at" "a" "n", "ac" "o" "s",
"as" "i" "n" ,"tan" ,"co" "s" , "s" "in"
/*E! SY! */# define E else /* Be ^_^ \*/
#/* D! /*/ define P printf /*\ int "!" \*/
,"^" ,"(" ,"e" ,"PI"} ,e[ 2049 ]; int d,m ,l,p
,u[1 <<+ 12], n[2048] ,w [1<< 12] ,v[ 0+ 2048
+0] ,q, c,i; double t [0+ 2048] ,o ;/* )== \*/
/*19 99 /*/# define j( x)((x>47&&x<58) ||( +x) ==( 46))
/*g ain ax*/ double f( int r){switch(u[r]) {C( 34 +0,
fmod ( f( n[r]),f( w[r ]) ))C (294 ,atan2 ( 0,- 1) )C( 278,
exp (1) )C( 132,log10(f( w[r ]) ))C (66 ,f( n[r ]) *f( w[ r])
)C( 50 ,f( n[r])/f (w[r]) )C( 116 ,+ log (f (w[ r] )/* */))
C(1 ,f (n[ r])-f( w[r ])) C( 245 +0, pow (f( n[ r]) ,f(
w[r ])) )C( 100, exp (f( w[ r]) ))C (17 ,f( n[r ]) +f(w
[r] ))C (83 ,-f( w[r ])) C(228, sin (f( w[r ]) ))C (0+
262 ,f( w[r ]))C( 180 +0, asin(f (w[ r]) ))C( 212 +0, cos
(f(w [r] )))C (164 ,/* |*/ acos (f( w[r ]))) C( 0+ 196,
tan (f( w[r] )))C( 148 +0, atan (f( w[r ])))} R(t [r ]);
V(g )for (m=+ l=!P( "%s " ,k[ s>>4 ]); u[v [c]]- 262 &&( u[v
[c] ]&7 )>=( s&7) ;c=v[ c]) ;v[ q]= v[n [q] =c];u[v[ c]= w[v
[q] ]=q ]=s;c =q++;V(h)if (m) g( 66) ;if (s==310){m=P( "" "%"
"lG ", t[q]= o);}F(s==+ 294 || s== 278){m =+P( /* \|*/
"%s ", k[s>> 4]);}E{if( 262 == s) {p++; if( l) W(8
)}m =! P("%s" ,k[s>>4 ]);}l =0 ;if( s> +99 &&+
229 >s )l=W(+ 32 )u[q ]=s; v[w[c]= q]=c +0; c=q++;;}
int main( int a/* suz uki /*/,char/*e nom oto*/*b[
]){ if(a==1)R P(" ?\n "); strcpy(e,b[q=1 ]); for (i=
2;i <a;strcat (e, b[i ++]));; strlwr (e);{ ;} for (u[
(d= m=p= c=0 )]= 262 ;e[d];){if( j(e[d ])){; sscanf (e+
+d, "%l" "f" "" , &o);; for(h (310 );j( e[ d]) ;d
++);if(e [d] == 101) {d++ ;if( e[d] -43&&e [d]
-45)d-- ;for (d ++;e [d]> 47&& e[ d]<+58 ;d
++) ;}}F(e[d ]> 97&& +117 >e[ d]){if (M(
+14 ))h( 228 ); F(M( 13)) h (212) /*
*/;F(M( 12) )h (196 ); F(M(+ 6))
h(100) ;F(M(8 ))h( 132+ 0);E
{if(! memcmp (( e+d),"pi",
2)) h(294 );F (!memcmp(e
+d, "ln", 2 ))h (116 );E
{if (+101 == e[d ])h (278 );d
--; }d--; }d +=3 ;} F(97 ==e
[d] ){d+= 1; if( M(14) )h(
180); F(M(( 13 )) )h (164) ;F(M
(12))h(148);E d/* */ -= +3;d+= +3;
}E{ i=e[d++] ;if (m ){if(40 ==+
i){ h(262);} F( i== 41&& +p) {P(
"%" "c)%c" ,8 ,+ 32); for (c
=(+ v[c]) ; 262-u [c
];c =v[c ]);p --;}E
{if (42== i)g(66 );F(47
==i )g(50); F(i== 37)g(34
);F (i==43)g (17) ;F(i==45)
g(1) ;F( i==94)g( 245);}}E{if
(40 ==i )h(262);F(i== 45)h(83);}}}if(!m)
{ o=0;h(310);}for(i=!W(8)i++<p;)W(41)R!P(
"\n=\40%.16lG\n",f(0));}
Zombie Sustainable To Disease?
Posted in My Life, Random with tags disease, epidemic, Friends, Friendships, zombie, zombies on November 2, 2009 by shizumatakaMy good friend of mine, Corina, texted me earlier with this random text,
“In terms of preventing spreading of disease, cannibalism is very bad. So would Zombies perhaps succumb to AIDS or Flu or something before starving?”
I at first laughed because she sends me the most random text messages sometimes, and i simply replied with [trying to sound intelligent lol]:
“No. Their bio makeup is vastly different depending on what caused the ‘transformation’.”
She simply replied with:
“So you don’t think a virus or bacterium could alter it’s DNA in order to be accepted by more host?”
I thought about it at first because it seemed like a reasonable argument. Certain virus’ [most commonly known one being HIV] are known for adapting. But, this was being taken from the account of a Zombie, not a human being, so i replied with:
“Hmm, well flu and common cold virus’ are never the same. A Zombie’s bio makeup seems to me a virus that deteriotes the host so another virus would seem obsolete wouldn’t it?”
I decided to bring the same question up to some of my other friends to see what their reply would be. My friend Melissa replied:
“Doesn’t bacteria only affect living flesh? Not the flesh of the dead?”
I completely forgot about that, but I thought about what if it was only contained in the blood…
“But it would still cause the zombies to be a carrier of the disease much like it’s a carrier for whatever virus turned it into a zombie. My argument was that whatever virus turned the once human into a “zombie” would force all other bacteria obsolete.”
and we contiue to talk starting with Melissa’s reply:
“Logically that makes sense, because the ‘zombie disease’ is more prominent then any other disease. I don’t think the zombie would even be able to pick up other diseases.”
Me:
“But, in theory, if it was logically possible to infect a “zombie” with the common cold or the flu, her question was, would ‘zombies’ succumb to AIDS or the Flu before starving?”
Melissa:
“IF it was logically possible, I still doubt it. Because the organs that those diseases affect are already dead. They’d starve or decay before AIDS kills them.”
Me:
“OR in theory, would the virus that caused the “zombism” in turn cause the AIDS virus or other’s to become stronger?”
Melissa:
“Ahhh now that has potential. Yeah it probably could. Could a zombie pass on AIDS is what I’m curious about.”
Me:
“Well AIDS is passed on through blood and since we all know zombies seem to have a unlimited supply of blood somehow, i don’t see, in theory of course, why not. But the question would be, would the AIDS virus kill what is already dead? Actually, my friend Bethany just told me she thinks AIDS virus is almost identical to a zombie virus because “it attacks good blood cells, makes them die, and then duplicates the dead cells”
Melissa:
“Nah, AIDS wouldn’t kill a zombie. And I don’t think AIDS could be contracted unless they already had it before infected with ‘zombie-ism’”
Me:
“Actually, that brings up another question… what happens to a person who is already infected with HIV/AIDS if they become a zombie?”
Then my friend Aiko comments with:
“Well, looking at documented cases on the subject of a zombie epidemic, one could only assume that if a zombie contacted some other form of virus that it would only mutate it’s genes, in turn causing said zombie to become, what i like to term as, a super zombie… it would be stronger and more dangerous than the rest. This type of zombie would be something one would find being used and researched for bio-chemical warfare.”
Then my friend Tim comments with:
“Well they will either become zombies or ubersoldats,the ones who become zombies will most likely be this way because of the side effect of the chemicals. The ubersoldats would become this way because their bodies reacted to the chemicals in a way like it would react to vitamins, minerals, or antioxidants. Except these chemicals would make the subject stronger, faster, enhanced eyesight, hearing, etc.”
I reply:
“But by saying that, you are saying that a human borne virus has the potential to alter a zombies own genes, thus would that not make it sustainable to it’s own destruction through bio-warfare?”
Tim:
“Well it’s equivocal to drugs that get put on the market and later on found to cause cancer or some rare cases complications that cause death.”
I reply with:
“But wouldn’t that mean, that we shouldn’t fear zombies if they are just as vulnerable as us?”
This all of course was while Corina and I were still texting each other, it basically ended with her asking:
“So biological warfare against the Zombies is not going to be helpful?”
with my reply:
“Probably not. lol”
Lol. The random conversations i have with friends. haha. Good times.
Get Through This
Posted in Music, My Life, Videos with tags heart break, Love, Relationships on October 30, 2009 by shizumatakaOk, so this recent break up has had me experiencing some emotions i forgot i had… well i didn’t forget i had them, i just was pushing them away.
Starts off with Daft Punk’s song Something About Us
Then The Last Goodnight’s song Pictures of You
Then it goes to David Guetta’s song Love Is Gone
Then with Art of Dying’s song Get Through This
Ends with Hatebreed’s song This Is Now
All in the span of almost 3 weeks. ugh.
New Start
Posted in Music, My Life on October 24, 2009 by shizumatakaI’ve been horrible lately and im sure you don’t know why… [a lot of drama with my now ex. ugh] but life has started looking a tad bit better. today is good, so hopefully this happiness last for me longer than just today. I realized that people lose and gain things in life and i lost someone but gained someone at the same time, just hoping this all works out for me finally. nothing else has seemed too. I’ve been playing Poke’mon music, Jazz, Lion King music, Halo music, and indie bands. I’m going to be back on here a little more updating.
How have YOU all been?
No More Posts
Posted in My Life on October 16, 2009 by shizumatakaSo i won’t be posting on this blog for a little while… things in my life have started to get out of hand and i would rather handle them than to talk about them on here… so i’ll be back eventually… just not right now… i may most small random post but that would be about it.
and as a side note, whom ever has been posting negative comments on here can grow up and stop acting like they are in High School.
People Are Fucking Dumb
Posted in My Life on September 28, 2009 by shizumatakaOk, so i was leaving Greensboro to head back to Charlotte this morning and i stopped at the Wal-Mart gas station and was buying a drink… in front of me in line was this lady buying 4 fucking pack of cigarettes… FOUR!!! and it took the lady behind the counter like 30 mins to get them… then the lady had the nerve to pay with a CHECK! FOR FUCKING CIGARETTES!!! I swear i wanted to punch her in the face for holding up the line… their were 6 people behind me waiting on this dumb woman.
I mean seriously… did she really need that much nicotine in her body… she looked like she was over 60 years old… people are fucking dumb
